Back to Fitness

Well that was hard. I had been so proud of how, in the past I had used running as a tool to overcome emotional strife, body image problems, and self-esteem. I had conquered everything, and had some shiny medals to show off as proof. I think I had actually deluded myself into thinking that I had solved all future problems because of the transformation I had gone through.

I suppose I didn't explicitly say it in my previous post, but I've been struggling a lot with depression over the last couple of months. It started with problems at work, and then over time my anxiety about work started bleeding out into my personal life. My relationship with my roommates fell apart, my relationship with my fiancé was strained, I spent a huge percentage of my visit home to my parents sitting in my childhood bedroom crying my eyes out. Needless to say, things got out of control. I went to my doctor for some help getting out of the hole that I was in. The medicine she gave me definitely pick myself off the ground. I was able to follow through when problems cropped up, and actually feel like I was in control of my life again.

However, the particular version of that medication that I was taking had some side effects that were sort of lousy. For one thing, the medicine made me hungrier than any amount of marathon training ever did. I don't mean emotional eating, or "I'm bored so I'm going to forage in my kitchen", I mean stomach-rumbling legitimately hungry. This was a horrible combination, because the other lousy side effect that it came with the medicine was general digestive distress. Sometimes I was nauseous, sometimes my stomach was really cramped, sometimes I feel sort of acid-ish, just generally kind of bad. And, it was especially bad while I was running or walking.

So... now I'm up a few pounds, but generally feeling a lot better about my emotional energy. Now it's time to get my physique back to where it was. I think I can do it. I need to get myself in shape for the Shamrock Marathon on March 22. Time to get my shoes back on!